I am in a vortex of obligation.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
