Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
