Three words: puerto rican gang bang
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
And then my night got REAL pukey
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
