we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
