He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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