Pappa wants mamma naked
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Your cock deserves a montage
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize