is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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