Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
ugly people sure do ruin things
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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