i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
