I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
