Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
