If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
