Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
