Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
