Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
