hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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