I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
