u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize