Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
