Only a mothe r could love this liver
People with herpes should wear stickers.
even my farts smell like vagina
Is it because I queefed?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
