i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
