In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
