She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I think your dad took our porno
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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