she looked like the bat from fern gully.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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