I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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