Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
