i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
