Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
