My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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