your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize