The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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