so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
