On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
