For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
pray to the hookup gods
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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