Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
