I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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