Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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