dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
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