Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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