i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
