we're blogging at a bar
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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