My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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