Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
