She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
