My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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