I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
