Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
