Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Dignity is for republicans.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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