these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
