Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
We smell like vodka and hangover
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