Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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