The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
My ATM looks so different sober.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
