Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
