i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
