I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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