WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
