my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize