Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
