Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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