put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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