When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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