Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
