I could have mohawked her pubes.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Randomize