Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
