Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I got inside last night via doggy door
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
