I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
how drunk are you?
Several
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I had to cum in my sink.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
