Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
