So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
