8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
